For their podcast The Talk Show, John Gruber and Dan Benjamin have been watching the James Bond movies in order and discussing them on the show. Now that Netflix has added the bulk of the series to its instant watch library, I thought I’d play along. Warning! Spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk!

I hadn’t seen Live And Let Die in years, which is probably a good thing. If I’d remembered how awful this movie is I might have had a harder time making myself sit down and watch it. Seriously, this is making a serious run at worst Bond film ever. Let’s get all of the complaints out of the way first, shall we?

First of all, the plot is ridiculous. By the time the bad guy (Kananga) laid it out, I was having a hard time paying attention, so here’s a Wikipedia summary:

It transpires that Kananga is producing two tons of heroin and is protecting the poppy fields by exploiting locals’ fear of voodoo and the occult. Through his alter ego, Mr. Big, Kananga plans to distribute the heroin free of charge at his Fillet of Soul restaurants, which will increase the number of addicts. Kananga also believes that other drug dealers, namely the Mafia, cannot compete with his giveaway, to which Kananga can later charge high prices for the heroin after he has simultaneously cultivated huge drug dependency and bankrupted his competitors.

Ok, I guess. But why does Kananga need to put on a weird false face and masquerade as this Mr. Big gangster character? He’s got tons of henchmen, so why can’t one of them be Mr. Big? After all, Kananga’s day job is to be a diplomat for his country. Why risk that, especially when American and British intelligence agents are following you 24/7?

Secondly, I didn’t care for all of the voodoo stuff. It was just goofy. First there’s the Baron Samedi character. He’s just creepy. And how come he shows up on the train at the end of the movie after we clearly see him fall into a coffin filled with hundreds of presumably poisonous snakes? I guess it’s supposed to be the voodoo magic, but I think it’s actually dumb writing.

Then there’s Solitaire, the chief Bond girl in this one. She’s Kananga’s fortune teller, using tarot cards to tell the future. They never come right out an say this, but they heavily imply that prior to Bond having his way with her she’s a virgin and that once she loses that she’ll lose her future-telling powers too. Huh? Goofy.

Also, there’s all the racism. First you have needlessly racially charged comments from the black henchmen. But even worse than that is the Louisiana sheriff. He and his cousin refer to one of the black henchmen as “boy.” Really? Is that necessary?

Speaking of the sheriff, I really want to know whose idea it was to include his character in the film. I would sit this person down and do my best impression of Seth Myers and Amy Poehler and just say, “Really?!?” over and over to him. On top of the racism he’s just generally extremely annoying. I would have much preferred to just see the boat chase, which was cool enough by itself without this bumbling comic relief character ruining the scene.

Ok, now that I’ve had my cathartic moments of complaint, some general observations:

Though Kananga’s a goofy character, Yaphet Kotto actually does a great job with a bad part. It wasn’t his fault the movie stank.

It’s also not Roger Moore’s fault. He’s great in this as well. I would tell you any day I think Sean Connery is the best Bond, but when I hear Roger Moore speak I’m hearing James Bond. I’m sure it’s because I grew up with his movies more than any other Bond films. It was also remarkable how young he looked in this one!

The Paul McCartney theme song is great, but I hated it when the lounge singer sang it in the movie. Way too meta for my tastes, though not as bad as Lazenby breaking the fourth wall in his Bond film…

Unlike the goofy sheriff, the scene at the beginning of the movie where M and Moneypenny come to Bond’s house in the wee early morning hours is actually pretty funny. Never mind the fact that it makes no sense that they would come themselves rather than send a lackey. You can forgive it because the comedy is right.

Probably my favorite scene of the movie is the one at the beginning of the movie where the agent gets killed in New Orleans. He’s standing on a street corner watching a New Orleans jazz band play a somber tune as pall bearers carry a coffin. The agent turns to a man who just walked up beside him and asks whose funeral it is. “Yours!” says the man before stabbing him. I like the way the shot is framed of the agent standing on the sidewalk as the band comes around the corner, and I like the evocative look of the band. It is kinda silly that they just set the coffin down over his body and then pick it up with the agent magically inside of it, but oh well. It’s still a cool scene. Then the band breaks into a peppy rendition of When The Saints Go Marching In, or something similar.

If you’re new to the Bond franchise, don’t start with this one. It’s got its moments, but is definitely one of the worst of the series. Can’t wait for The Man With The Golden Gun!

1. jwsherrod posted this